~ The Fearful Husband and The Zen Man ~
About a year ago, I met with a husband and wife for an introductory training session. They felt as if they were struggling with many life challenges and were seeking some relief. They didn’t know if they would like to stay in the same line of work or if they should move to another place and begin a new life. The couple was in their early sixties and thought they were too old for a new employer to be interested in hiring them.
They were very worried about their finances. The couple had been together for about forty years. The husband explained that this was the first time since they were newlyweds their income had become so scarce. The stress they experienced from what they perceived as a dismal situation was manifesting itself in the husband as discouragement, depression, physical exhaustion and confusion.
They just did not know how to navigate their lives to a better place.
I asked some basic questions such as: what line of work would they enjoy creating in? If they were to relocate, where would they like to live? Each time I asked what they would like to change or purposefully prefer to create in their lifestyle, they replied that they didn’t know. They were so stuck in the mud they couldn’t find a way to pull themselves out.
I understood why they felt so paralyzed. Almost everyone I have trained has this exact response, so I was not surprised.
Many people know a part of themselves that seems a bit off or even miserable. They feel overwhelmed by their lack and discouraged by their longings for their preferred desires. Those feelings blind them to the clear and simple route that has been provided for them to get beyond their perceived roadblocks and attain their chosen goals. They are so entrenched; they no longer even know the top three things they would like to release from their lives!
Moreover, when I ask them to tell me the three things they would love to create and bring into their lives, they are equally blank! These individuals inherently know they are not as happy as they could be and they yearn to experience something better. They simply don’t know where to begin.
“I’ve Heard About Those Exercises Before!”
I suggested this couple put together their Road Map For Life and set it in motion by doing the simple, yet powerful activities that were taught in the chapter, “Reconnecting to Your Team,” in Part I of this book.
As I began to describe the three-page exercise, the husband, in sheer frustration, exclaimed that he had already been told about these types of exercises and he wanted me to tell him something new.
I then shared with him that the situation he was experiencing was new and different from what he had experienced before. Therefore, it was imperative for him to map out a fresh plan with the details of what he preferred to create now.
I also pointed out that unless he applied genuine feelings and desires to open up and receive his Team into his life, his ability to rapidly create would be greatly thwarted. In fact, even if he went through the motions of these exercises without allowing himself to be deeply motivated, the words would be just that…hollow words on pieces of paper with little or no Power!
Perhaps the husband had performed similar exercises. But if he performed them stating his desires in the form of someday, those blessings may be well-developed and organized in a spiritual dimension and are simply waiting in his future until he commands them into the present. Perhaps that is why he didn’t feel the importance of what I shared with him that day.
NOTE: Sometimes it is advantageous to create portions of your world by commanding it to remain in someday for a season of time. Perhaps you recognize you are not ready to receive it at the moment you begin to form that goal. Maybe your desires include others and they are also preparing their part of the formation of those like desires. In an upcoming chapter, “Green Cars,” I share an experience that I held in someday for a year before I commanded it into my life.
I taught this husband and wife everything that was required for them to begin rapidly creating, but they let their fears hold them in check. I could feel them slamming on the brakes of their life vehicles and putting them into park. There they sat in front of me, paralyzed and immovable. As my oldest daughter would say, this couple didn’t have their shirt in the game-they were not actively engaged.
In their game of life, they weren’t even sitting on their Team sidelines…they were still in the stadium parking lot! All because they were not willing to take the first steps to climb out of the dark hole they had placed themselves in. Heck, I’m not unsympathetic. I know what it feels like to have my shoes nailed to the ground. I’ve been stuck there a time or two myself before I learned I could unlace my shoes anytime, slip my feet out of them and get going again.
However, I also learned that I had to first set down the hammer I was holding in my right hand and the nails I was holding in my left hand before I could unlace those shoes!
Remember, we are the ones creating our individual world. No one and nothing is imposing anything upon us.
The husband was so caught up in the distracting problems of his life he could not allow himself to see that he and his wife were on the cusp of some amazing life changes that would be filled with growth and opportunity.
I felt great excitement about their situation because I could clearly see those amazing life changes rapidly being created for them. I also knew they could claim those experiences at any moment if they would just set aside their fears, doubts and discouragement, and allow themselves to receive their desires.
In fact, if they opened up to receive this shift they would feel more vital and alive than they had in years, perhaps even in their entire lives.
As they left that afternoon, I understood that they were not yet ready to make the change they dreamt of. Instead, they continued to stay paralyzed by fear and smothered by feelings of being overwhelmed. And that is all right! That is what they knew. That is what they were familiar with. And that is what they were still interested in exploring in their daily lives.
At any moment, when they finished thinking and mulling through those situations, they could allow an immediate shift in their reality. They could then quickly release this experience to move on and master other goals.
About a month later, the husband emailed me and shared that he was still going to do the exercises, perhaps that weekend. He revealed that he still had not taken the time to read the instructions for activating his life-altering experiences. I could see he was not yet motivated to take the action that would bring him relief. He was still sitting in the parking lot!
The husband told me he just didn’t believe it was possible to make the changes we spoke about even though he had felt very inspired during our visit. He also marveled at the Enthusiasm, active faith and miracles I enjoyed daily.
I felt he was right about his not being able to make the changes he desired. None of those amazing changes could occur until he first allowed the shift within his soul to believe and accept the fact that he had the ability to purposefully create exactly what he desired to have happen in his life. So, he reaped what he sowed. He received exactly what he believed in. In other words:
Allow yourself to perceive what you would love to conceive. Then, with all of your being believe that you can achieve that goal. It can rapidly form for you. Lastly, open up and receive your blessing.
What We Expect is Exactly What We Create
On the opposite side of the spectrum, a few weeks after I met the husband and wife, I received a request from a young man who asked me to assist him with some spiritual life training. He had recently made a mess of things, losing a relationship with his longtime companion, his job and his home. He had no family in town and no car. He had not slept in three days and did not know where else to turn. He felt he had hit rock bottom.
I shared with him that I, too, had once been homeless while I was in high school. I also had been without an immediate family to support me, or a job to sustain my financial responsibilities. I truly understood how he felt.
Then, I told him how he could start putting together a plan that he could activate so his personal happiness could return.
I gave the young man instructions for an exercise he could do after we had completed our phone conversation. It was the same three-page Road Map for Life exercise I had given to the “fearful husband” and his wife.
I explained, “On the first paper, write down moments of gratitude, joy, thanksgiving or appreciation you have experienced in your life.” I gave him some simple examples-blessings of comfort that so many of us take for granted.
I could feel the words coming out of me, going into him, and deeply resonating in his soul: “A comfortable bed to rest your body, a soft pillow to lay your head, a warm blanket to snuggle under when you are cold, a hot shower, a refrigerator in which to put your food.”
I shifted my attention even more purposefully to him and added, “These are blessings of comfort that mean much more to you now than they did a week ago. Do you agree?” He awakened to what I was saying to him and he answered, “Yes!”
He started looking all around and began to realize how blessed he had been, and how he had not noticed those blessings before.
I told him to easily and quickly enjoy filling up his first paper with a list of these simple blessings. He immediately began receiving the soothing balm of peace and well-being; verification that his entire soul was literally connected to the Divine. With that connection, all things were now possible for him to create and manifest.
I then told him about the other two pages of the exercise and gave him instructions on how to create them.
Simple Solutions, Powerful Results!
I walked him through gathering up all his fears and worries and instructed him to take a deep breath. As he exhaled, he began to freely let go of those concerns. Again he gathered, again he exhaled and released. I spoke to him as he released all of his burdens in just three deep, meaningful breaths. Next, he took three profoundly nourishing breaths. As he inhaled, he allowed himself to be flooded with warm comforting feelings of relief.
He immediately united more fully with the Divine and felt feelings of acceptance, forgiveness and love flow into him. He cried tears of joy and happiness.
I cried with him as I also felt those amazing, unifying powerful feelings with him and with Them, even though we were speaking over a phone to one another.
One Soul Speaking to Another Soul
I also shared with the young man a way of speaking to his former companion without using verbal words. I told him he had the Power to communicate with his soul directly to his former companion’s soul. He could invite his loved one back into his life. He had the Power to show a mighty change had come over him and that he would like to share that change with his companion, restoring any pain or damage that had occurred during the past weekend.
I told him to visualize with detail this person and the other friends with whom he desired to rebuild his relationship, seeing that they were all doing well and enjoying their time together. I suggested he say, while allowing that wonderful feeling to resonate within his soul, “More of this now in our lives, please. More of this for all of us now, thanks!”
The man swiftly began the process of creating precisely what he preferred in his life.
“I’m Feeling Afraid!”
After that, for a moment, he allowed himself to hesitate and become distracted from his goal.
All of a sudden, he realized he was afraid. I asked him how he felt when he thought and spoke those words. He confessed he didn’t have that wonderful feeling he had had only moments before. I immediately told him to command those feelings to leave him.
I continued to instruct, “Turn that page and release the four-letter word called fear. Realize you are allowing the feelings this word evokes to shove you back into that dark place where you lose your vision, stumble, fall and create chaos. Just moments ago you purposefully moved yourself fully back into that zone full of light, joy and bliss. In a moment, you can be there again. Remember, you are the one in the driver’s seat and you are steering your vehicle at all times. Turn around and come back to that abundant, good-feeling place now!”
Within a moment, he was back in the zone, this time more deeply and fully connected to his personal creative Powers and those Beings who created him, his wonderful feeling more intense than before. That experience further reinforced his awareness that he really was and always had been in charge of his own feelings and circumstances.
I told him, “Hold on to that wonderful feeling!” as he extended the invitation for his former companion to return to his life. If the invitation proved to be valuable and mutually uplifting to both their souls, their relationship would indeed be able to mend and flourish once again.
The Zen Man
At the beginning of our conversation, my client explained to me that he was actually at the home where he and his former companion had lived. The other man still lived there but was gone at the time of our visit.
Suddenly he realized his former companion had returned to the home they had once shared and the young man began to slide back into feeling fearful. I reminded him to release those feelings and instead, continue to hold on to those great feelings he preferred. I assured the young man that if he would do this his partner would easily be able to see and feel the shift that had taken place in him. We quickly said our good-byes and hung up the phone.
When his partner walked into the room, he literally did not recognize the young man who was there to greet him because of the great change that had occurred. The young man had been transformed from a miserable wretch of a human being who had been unable to sleep for days into a person in a state of zen.
Zen was literally the word his former companion used to describe what the young man looked like that life-transforming day. The healing of their relationship had already begun.
My phone rang again. It was the young “Zen Man.” He asked when he and his companion could come over and start their couple training. I suggested they come now! I reasoned it was the best time for making immediate life changes.
Soon they were both with me in my office. I mentored and carefully assisted them as they opened up their souls to the changes they desired.
Now the other man was also weeping tears of relief as he joined his Power with his personal Team and us. He told us that while I was instructing them, he started remembering information he had known all his life…in fact, all eternity. As I spoke to him, he began receiving answers to questions he had desired to know without even asking me the questions.
I told him that when I am mentoring and training others, I’m only reminding people of what they already know eternally and deeply within themselves. Their bodies verify the truths I speak.
At the end of the session, the two shared with me that they felt every couple should go through this kind of training. They found it was so powerfully healing.
I told the young man’s companion about the three page exercises I had shared just hours earlier with the Zen Man.
I then discovered that within the first hour after our initial phone visit, Mr. Zen had already eagerly completed his three-page assignment! I noticed his attitude. He willingly and excitedly embraced the experience. It was fun for him. Any work or struggle was gone. His burdens were lifted and made light…just as his eternal Team had promised.
Now I could physically see the validation of that mighty change in him. He shared with us that he could feel a fullness of love and a well-being radiating in his entire chest, spreading throughout his whole body. It felt like ecstasy.
Your Team is always willing to lift your burdens for you when you make that request, too.
Allowing the Blessings to Flow In
Two weeks later, the young couple came for another training session. They eagerly shared with me the wonderful news about the exciting adventures flooding into their lives. They had been given great job opportunities, and they were both beaming with hope and delight. What a profound turnaround from the initial phone call I had received only a couple of weeks before!
Unlike the husband who shut down, overwhelmed and paralyzed with feelings of fear, Mr. Zen and his companion easily and quickly allowed their creative juices to flow out upon those three pages and were already experiencing the fruits of what they desired to create!
I can clearly see how motivated individuals can create, activate and enjoy rapid changes in any aspect of their lives!
Which One Are You?
The two couples presented in these stories were all amazing people who were absolutely worthy to receive whatever they were willing to allow into their lives at that moment. And they each ultimately created what they came to expect.
You, too, are clearly able to deeply bond with your Team, rapidly creating and living more fully the desires of your heart. How motivated and committed are you? Are you the Fearful Husband, hunkering down and closing off from the Divine; feeling alone while stumbling about in the darkness? Or are you the Zen Man who is flooded with light, joy and exhilaration while being fully engaged with the Divine? The decision is in your capable hands.
Did you complete your three-page “Road Map for Life” yet? If so, are you actively using it to create your wonderful world? If you have already reached those goals, create a fresh new roadmap.
One of my clients created her road map, which included moving into another home, finding a great man to marry and getting married. Amazingly, she completed everything on her list within a very short time. Then she slid into a depression. I pointed out that she had accomplished everything she desired and it was time for her to form a new “Road Map for Life” and continue on her creative journey!
If you haven’t yet enjoyed this experience, allow yourself to do this simple quick exercise TODAY.